


With Choice Comes Consequence

by dexteritysave



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/F, Kidnapping, Project Cadmus, Protective Alex Danvers, Rescue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2018-12-29 18:27:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12090843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dexteritysave/pseuds/dexteritysave
Summary: Eight months after her sister's death Alex Danvers wakes to find Supergirl in her kitchen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory disclaimer stating that I do not own Supergirl.

“Alex!”

Opening her eyes groggily she wonders if this is another trick. Everything aches, the concrete is freezing, and...

“Dad!”

He’s standing outside her cell in a gray hoodie. Immediately she stands, rushing to the bars. He looks uninjured, but she knows how much a hoodie and jeans can hide from view. 

“Are you ok?”

He beats her to the question and she laughs before the sobering reminder of where she is kicks back in. 

“I'm fine. Dad, they have Kara.”

He doesn’t even blink at her words. 

“I know.”

He smiles at her softly before playing with the keypad on her cell. 

“We have to save her!”

He nods as he keys in numbers, running through different possible combinations.

“We will.”

“You too -I'm not leaving without you.”

He smiles down at her with pride and Alex feels her chest warm. 

“First let’s get you out of that cell.”

He hums slightly to himself before the display flashes green. 

“There we go, that'll do it. Good, now let's go save your sister.”

Alex smiles for the first time since she’d woken up on the freezing concrete floor. Her mind skips forward to proving once and for all that her father is on their side. First, she has to get them all out safely. She curses the fact that they’d knocked her out before even reaching the base because she has no idea which direction to go in. The guards that had brought her food had come from the left, but that could mean anything. 

“I know where they're keeping her. Follow me.”

She lets out a relieved laugh. Knowing Kara's location makes the mission significantly easier. She hadn’t been looking forward to stumbling around an enemy base. Jeremiah takes the lead, jogging down the hall and Alex realizes that the “down” is literal. There’s an incline. She’d heard rumors of an underground facility at the DEO but nothing had been confirmed. Shaking her head she focuses once more. She follows behind her father matching his steps and pace as they run deeper into the heart of the base. 

“The walls are lined with lead and on the lower levels the lights mimic a red sun so that even if she managed to escape the kryptonite holding cell, she wouldn't get far.” 

He’s whispering. She has to strain to hear him over the sound of her own heart pounding in her chest. They both slow down as they approach a sharp bend in the hallway. Pausing and embracing a moment of stillness she hears another set of footsteps. They’re soft but getting louder and before she can warn him, her father lunges. 

“Ride or die,” Alex mutters slightly annoyed at the loss of what could have been a perfect ambush. She cuts around the corner to see her dad has the first grunt pinned to the ground while a second has his sidearm trained on him. She digs her toe into the ground as she approaches smirking at the squeak it produces against the ground. The second grunt immediately turns the gun on her but by then she’s in his guard. She knows the mechanics of disarming a weapon trained on her by heart. Her left-hand wraps around the barrel pushing it away from her body while her right shoots out clocking him in the face. It’s enough for him to lose all grip that he would have had on the gun and as she pulls her right arm back she secures the firearm training it on him. In her periphery, she watches as her father takes the other agent’s sidearm out of its holster before knocking him out with it. 

“I hate to do this, any blow to the head strong enough to cause unconsciousness can cause brain damage but you’ve messed with my family.” 

The sound of his head slamming against concrete is enough to assure them both that he won’t be waking up soon. Once more they’re jogging, this time armed. She hopes that no one else heard the commotion. The lighting abruptly changes and Alex recognizes the simulation of a red sun. 

“We're almost there. Alex, we don't have time to stop so...I need you to be prepared for… for what we may see” 

Goose bumps rise on her arms as she runs through reports of what Cadmus has done to other aliens. There seems to be no shortage of bases that they've taken down and in each no shortage of alien bodies. She tries to calculate how long they’ve been there. It's easy to lose track of time in a cell with no windows and minimal contact but… based on her estimates they'd had free reign to experiment on Kara for at least three days. She doesn't want to imagine the kind of damage they could have done to her little sister with that much time. Everything in her wants to burn the base to the ground and she promises herself that she will. 

They reached a large metal door with green flecks ingrained in the stone. Kryptonite. There’s no handle, no lock for her to pick. Scanning the entry point her eyes land on a card reader. That complicates things. She begins a contingency plan to find one of the scientists working on Kara, or perhaps cleaning crew. Anyone with clearance would work… Before she can voice this dad smiles pulls out a key card. When she hears the chirp confirming access granted she just stares at him in awe. 

“I hated to let them hold you hostage for so long honey but I needed time to put everything together. That included finding your sister and getting this.” 

The door opens automatically, sliding up just long enough for them to enter before plummeting down. She has to adjust once more to a complete shift in the light spectrum. Everything in the room if glowing green and her stomach rolls. In the center of the room, she can make out Kara trembling on a metal table. Her arms are held at her waist with metal clamps and her legs are similarly restrained. 

“Kara.”

Two steps into her approach and she can hear a faint whimpering from the youngest Danvers. She sprints the rest of the distance. 

“Kara shh. I'm here, I'm here.”

There are no obvious signs of physical injury but with a Kryptonian that doesn’t mean much. Kara’s face is washed out, she’s never seen the girl so pale. What she thought was trembling from a distance is full on shaking -best case scenario it’s a temporary side effect of the kryptonite. The moment she reaches Kara's side her hands move to run through blonde tresses as she scans the clasps for a release. Her fingers brush lightly against Kara's forehead. Kara screams at the contact. Her eyes are clenched shut, never opening. Her voice is raw barely there. Her entire body contorts as she struggles against the shackles twisting away from Alex’s gentle contact. 

“Kara! Hey, hey. You’re okay. It's just me, Kar. It's Alex!” 

Alex’s tone is soft as she whispers to her sister. Struggling to get through she plants her hands on either side of the blonde’s face holding Kara in place as she speaks. 

“Look at me, Kara. I’m here. It’s alright now. I’m here and we’re going home.You’re safe now. I promise” 

Kara’s breath comes in uneven gasps even as her body stills. Even so, Alex can see every muscle in Kara’s body is tensed, poised to flail once more. 

“Kara, look at me.” 

With those words, Kara's eyes finally open. Instead of familiar blue Alex finds herself staring into an unearthly green. Gently she runs her thumb over Kara’s cheek as steadily as she can, stealing her face into that of calm. She’s not what the extent of the damage to Kara’s vision is, but if her little sister can see her face, she wants it to be comforting. Swallowing thickly she concentrates on keeping her voice even. 

“There she is. I’ve got you, Kara. Just hang in there. In a few minutes and we’ll have you out of here. I’m taking you home, okay?” 

Kara blinks up at Alex finally relaxing her body and resting her cheek against Alex’s right palm. Alex moves slowly and deliberately bringing her left hand to run through Kara’s hair as she tries to gage what Kara can see. 

“From what I’m reading they’ve been using her to test a synthetic kryptonite based chemical weapon, slowly increasing the dosage. They want to use it to eliminate Superman. It looks like they developed a drug to clear it from her system as well. They noted that she’s too valuable for medical research to simply terminate.” 

Alex’s head snaps up and she stares at her father. He’s standing at the computer on the other side of the room. It’s a mobile station and surrounded by various pieces of surgical equipment. Images of scientists experimenting on Kara churn Alex’s stomach. Before she can respond Kara tenses once more pulling away from all contact. 

“If there’s a drug that will clear it from her system…” He begins looking around the station moving objects that Alex can’t make out due to the angle. “Here! They have detailed notes, this is what they’ve been using to neutralize it.” 

The moment he takes a step in their direction Kara’s head turns sharply. Her gaze is off confirming Alex’s fear of damage to her sight. Jeremiah doesn’t notice her terror and when he takes the second step towards them Kara flings her body away. She can’t move very far but that doesn’t stop the animalistic frenzy that overtakes her. Alex’s heart aches, every part of Kara is trembling as she gasps out. 

“Al-ex. No!”

Her words are little more than a breath broken and barely formed. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay Kara! You’re okay, it’s just dad.” 

Her hands run through Kara’s hair gently as she leans over her sister kissing her forehead. She can see that Kara’s exhausted and slowly her body begins to give way to calm once more but Alex can feel the unease rolling off of her. 

“Alex.” 

She nods at his tone and drapes her leather jacket over Kara, hoping that it will give her some comfort while she’s discussing how they’re going to get out. The moment she reaches him she whispers, “whatever they’ve done to her...she’s terrified.” 

He nods his lips curving down brow furrowed with worry, “I know.”

“We need to get her out of here.” 

Alex moves towards the computer, scanning to see if there’s a remote release that she can trigger. 

“We need to clear those toxins from her system.I’ll see if I can find a way to get her out of those restraints. Here, give her the antidote.” 

Proffered In his outstretched hand is a needle filled with clear liquid. Alex shakes her head. 

“We should wait, get her back to the DEO and analyze that in the mass spec before we even consider injecting that into her.” 

Her father puts the needle down on the surgical table. Before she can ask what he’s doing she feels a gentle steady weight on both of her shoulders (the same weight that was there after her soccer team had lost in regionals). 

“Alex, we don’t have the time. Look at the scans, all of her major organ systems are failing. She’s not going to make it back to the DEO if we don’t do something.” 

Alex bites her lip. She can see Kara’s vitals on the screen and he’s not wrong. They need to do something. 

“I’ll find a way to release the restraints. Give her this and keep her calm.” 

“Giving me the hard job. You know she hates needles.” 

The pressure on her shoulder increases briefly before the hands are gone. 

“That’s because you never let me down.” 

She doesn’t give herself time to process how much those words mean. Instead, she grabs the needle and walks back to her sister. In her absence, Kara’s whimpering returned with a vengeance. 

“Hey you, I'm here. Okay? I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Kara begins to still as Alex runs her hands up and down her shoulders. 

“Jeremiah?”

The question catches Alex off guard but she smiles down at her sister.

“Yeah, Kar, dad’s here too.”

The Kryptonian's head rapidly shakes. 

“No! Run!”

The doubt that everyone has in her father is frustrating. Still, she can’t be mad at the genuine fear overtaking her sister. Instead, she tries to reason with Kara. 

“Kara it’s dad. He saved me. We're saving you." 

That does nothing to calm her sister and Alex accepts that it’s going to take time for Kara to rebuild trust with her dad. She can’t really blame her. If she’d been tortured strapped to a table for days she imagines that she wouldn’t be overly trusting either. 

“Al!”

“Shh. We’ll work it out when we get home okay? I bet mom will make you the best pie in the galaxy. Something to look forward to.” 

Alex times the insertion of the needle to her mention of pie. It’s over in less than a second but Kara’s breath still hitches in her chest, her lips still quiver and tears still trail down her face. 

“You’re okay, you’re okay. See? It was just a quick stick. I bet it doesn't’ even hurt now.” 

As the words fall from Alex's mouth Kara's body goes slack, her head falling against the back of the table. 

“Kara!”

There’s a moment of silence the air falls still before every muscle in Kara’s body contracts at once. The blond seizes. Foam collects at the edges of her mouth as she convulses. Alex can’t breathe as she watches her sister. 

Mercifully the seizures stop and Kara falls limp against the table. Alex immediately moves forward frantically. Her mind buzzing with the possible causes for such a reaction. Her first priority is stabilization. She knows the ABC of triage and with a quick glance she confirms that Kara’s airway is clear. As she lets out a breath she realizes that Kara's not breathing. Applying fingers to the pulse point in Kara’s neck Alex takes a shaky breath.

“She's in cardiac arrest. We need… We need something to get her heart beating again I'll start chest compressions. Come on Kara, come back to me.” 

Alex crawls onto the table before pounding against Kara's chest. She’s counting compressions while straining to hear hoping that her dad will find something anything to help. When she only hears her own ragged breathing she looks over her shoulder to see him standing in the corner of the room watching. She understands, she really does. It’s easy to see a situation spiraling out of control and not know where to start. It's a standard deer in the headlights reaction and it's part of why parents aren't allowed to work on their own kids but she needs him. Without skipping a beat she yells. 

“Dad! We need a defibrillator.”

She focuses on keeping blood moving through Kara’s limp body and tries to ignore the snap of a rib. Time seems to speed up and slow down at once. Her arms are burning with the strain of prolonged CPR but she can't stop. She calls out again. 

“We need to get her heart beating again!” 

This time there’s a quiet response. “She's already gone.”

A chill runs down her spine and Alex’s head jerks in his direction. Away from Kara's blue lips and unfocused eyes. He's staring at her vitals displayed on a large monitor. 

“No. No! She’s not. We can get her back. Kara, you're alright! You’re alright sweetie, you just need to breathe! Just breathe… come on baby, take a breath for me.”

Alex doesn’t care about the high pitch her voice reaches as she chokes the words out. Her arms feel like lead and she notices that her pace is slowing. She fights on stubbornly throwing everything she has into keeping a steady pace, failure is not an option. She knows there’s a way to save her sister. If they can just find a defibrillator-there has to be one in the lab. 

“Come on Kara, please. Please!”

“Alex, it's time to stop. She's gone.”

“No, she's… We can still save her. She's okay. You're okay Kara. You're going to be just fine. We have a movie night this Friday and I promised I'd buy pot stickers. She wouldn't miss that for the world. Nothing would stop her from being there. Nothing would stop you.” 

Alex can’t decide who she’s trying to convince but her eyes never leave Kara. 

“Alex it’s not just her heart. It’s her lungs, it’s her liver, it’s her kidneys.”

She doesn’t stop until her arms give out from underneath her. She collapses onto Kara covering what's left of her sister. 

“Why did you just stand there!” 

He doesn’t approach, instead, he lets her hold Kara as close as she can. 

“Alex, there was nothing we could do.”

His tone is soft but those words light Alex on fire and she channels her grief into rage. He didn’t even try. She knows Cadmus labs, somewhere they would have the means to revive a ‘patient.’ Aliens weren’t allowed to die until Cadmus was ready for them to be disposed of. In her mind, something clicks. She wasn’t in great shape, but Kara was stable until… 

“What...What was in that syringe?”

…

 

The DEO rescue team arrives on the scene twenty minutes after receiving a tip from a source that Winn swears is L Corp. The moment they’d moved out Maggie Sawyer was hot on their heels. J’onn cuts ahead of the team phasing through the walls. He can feel that something’s wrong. 

He reaches the lowest levels noting the change from fluorescent light, to red, to green as he goes. He gets there just in time to catch Alex as she lunges at her father. In seconds he understands her rage, her anguish. As she fights against his hold he can’t look away from the metal table on which Kara’s form rests. 

Vasquez, Jones, and Sawyer crash through the door confirming what he’d expected. Aside from the two unconscious Cadmus agents, the base is completely empty. 

Jeremiah Danvers is taken into custody. 

J’onn hands Alex to Maggie and he slowly walks over to stand in front of Kara Zor El. 

**…………………. 8 hours Later………………**

 

“Alex.”

Hamilton won’t clear her to leave the hospital. She claims it’s because of dehydration and malnourishment, Alex knows better. She also should have expected the visitor but the voice catches her off guard, her mouth goes dry. 

“Mom?” 

Arms engulf her, and she’s slowly rocked back and forth in her mother’s embrace. For a brief second, she crumbles into the scent of vanilla and cinnamon. She wonders who was tasked with breaking the news about Kara to her mom. She wonders if they told her the truth.

"I'm so sorry.”

Alex jerks away swallowing heavily, her question answered. 

“It's my fault. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I promised I was going to bring her home mom. I never wanted…”

She can’t get out the confession. Her mom shifts closer placing both hands on Alex’s cheeks forcing her to look up. Alex’s mind flashes back to doing the same thing for Kara only hours ago. If she could just go back in time… 

“Alex. Listen to me, sweetie. I know what happened and it is NOT your fault. It’s not and I promise I will tell you that every second until you believe me..” 

Her mother’s voice is trembling and this time when arms wrap around Alex she doesn’t pull away. She has no words to express the roaring emotions tearing through her, but she does her best to hold them both together. She owes that to Kara. 

 

**……Eight Days Later…....**

“Alex you need to talk to someone.” 

She’s not sleeping. He can see ghosts of nightmares under her eyes. He doesn’t need to read her mind to know that she’s not coping. She’s petitioning to go back to active duty, but it’s clear to everyone she’s nowhere near ready. She’s going to get herself killed. On one hand, he hopes that in letting her hunt down Cadmus she’ll find closure. Perhaps she’ll even find purpose once more but first, she needs to process. 

“Talking's not going to help.” 

She’s pacing. Even in his office, she can’t sit still. J’onn wonders if she’s stopped moving since. 

“I killed my own sister Jonn!”

Whatever ambiguity had existed when he’d found them had long since been cleared. Everything that had transpired had been recorded. 

“Alex.” 

She’s not listening to him. Still pacing. 

“I was supposed to protect her. She… She was so scared. She tried to warn me and I didn't listen. Instead, I trusted him, blindly.” 

As far as he can tell, it was a ploy orchestrated by Lilian. One last way to torture Supergirl after they’d extracted all of the genetic material they needed from her. The cruelty of it burns in his chest. If it wasn’t slowly destroying her, he’d have no problem letting Alex’s wrath reign down. Biting back his own rage, he channels peace as strongly as he can.

“You should have been able to trust your father.” 

Alex’s head shakes. 

“No, Kara… Kara should have been able to trust me. She died in agony because of me.” 

He can hear the thoughts that she can’t bring herself to say. It's all I can see. 

“She died with one of the people she's loved more than life at her side.” 

Alex slows, finally dropping into the chair in front of his desk. 

“She died because one of the people she loved killed her!” 

She lowers her head into her hands and J’onn swears to himself, to Kara, that he’ll help her through this. 

“Jeremiah killed her.”

There’s a soft laugh. 

“Really? Because I remember plunging the needle into her arm!” 

They’re getting nowhere with this conversation but he keeps trying. 

“Alex, you thought you were saving her.” 

**…..8 Months Later………..**

“Alex no, it's too dangerous” 

J’onn’s voice booms over the comms. He watches as Alex disobeys his order running after the enemy even as the base collapses on top of them both. He’s livid. If she’d focused on escaping they both could have cleared the rubble. When the dust clears, the extraction team pulls her out from underneath a chunk of roof. He finds her in the infirmary with a brace being fitted to her knee. 

“You're on desk duty” 

She nods, accepting the decision. 

“For how long?”

“Indefinitely. You disobeyed a direct order and put yourself at risk.”

She glares up at him before nodding. Moments later Hamilton clears her and she rushes out. He’ll go after her later when he’s not running on the fear of losing her too. 

Alex makes her way to the Alien bar with every intention of drowning her sorrows. She drinks until she loses track of time and her ability to make out the numbers on the clock. 

“Hey Alex. Look I know I'm the last person you want to see right now but you've had enough. Let me take you home” 

She blinks trying to make out who is in front of her. 

“Margie?” 

Not caring about her slurred words she slumps forward. 

“Yeah Danvers. It's me. God, you’re plastered, okay I’m taking you home. Come on.” 

She’s not ready to leave yet. She can still see Kara’s glee at having experienced drunkenness for the first time. She can still see her little sister hitting a pool ball with enough force to put it through a wall. She can still feel the ache of what she’s lost. 

“No.” 

She motions to the bartender for another. He looks concerned for a moment before pouring one and sliding it over mouthing ‘last one’ as he does. 

“Alex.” 

Maggie’s tone is somewhere between exasperated and concerned. 

“No I want to be nummn. Nubbmnn. Nuuuuunnmb.” 

Giving up, she downs the shot in front of her. Maggie slides onto the stool next to her and shifts close. 

“Yeah, I get that. Jesus Danvers! What did you do to your knee?” 

She wants to forget that too. 

“It's fine.” 

“Really? Because it sure as hell doesn’t look fine. Looks like you've already forgotten a major injured. Sounds like enough for one night. Time to go.” 

Maggie stands reaching out to grab both of her shoulders and pulls. 

“I didn't forseget that you broke up with me, so I’m good foor as leasse anoser round.” 

The bartender shakes his head at her which she pointedly ignores. 

“Low blow there Alex. You have had more than enough tonight. Up we go. Steady with the knee Danvers. Here, lean on me.” 

Alex’s head lolls onto Maggie’s shoulder and she whispers as they walk out. “I wish it had been me, Maggie. I wish that she was still here.” 

Maggie knows. It’s obvious and so so painful. She’s damn sure that Alex has reached the point of blackout drunk and she’s not going to remember their conversation

“We all wish that she was still here Alex, but she’s not. She’s gone and you’re here. You’re still alive, so live.” 

She doesn't say anything else as she drives to Alex’s apartment, drops her in bed, pulls off her shoes, and puts water and Advil on the night stand. She locks the door on her way out, wishing that things were different. 

...Later that night….

“Oh shoot!”

Kara trips over her own feet. She lands hard on her rear and winces at the sound of something crunching beneath her. Reaching back she sighs heavily as she pulls the pieces of what was once her inter dimensional portal device out of her pocket. 

“Well if it wasn’t broken after the freeze ray earlier, it is now.” 

She’s too exhausted to care, and gently tosses it onto her counter before making her way to her bedroom. Stopping midway she wrinkles her nose with a deep frown. There's a strong smell of liquor emanating from her bedroom. 

“That's weird.”

Using x-ray vision she frowns softly. She’s not sure why there’s an Alex shaped lump in her bed but given the context, it can’t be good. 

“Oh, Alex.” 

Her closet is full of Alex’s clothing. She doesn't question it. Instead, she grabs one of Alex’s old college shirts, a pair of shorts and slips into bed. She has enough experience with drunk Alex to know that there’s no way her sister will be up until at least noon. After the fight she’s survived, she’s fine with that. Besides she’s never one to turn away a cuddle session. Kara shifts so that she’s behind her sister and slips an arm around Alex’s waist to make sure she stays on her side. Closing her eyes she whispers, “we’ll figure out how to fix whatever's wrong in the morning. I love you, Alex”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is brought to you by Hurricane Irma and a lack of electricity (totally typed this on my phone). In my boredom, the scene where J'onn shifted into Jeremiah and Alex trusted him implicitly came to mind. Thank you for reading, I hope that you've enjoyed. Drop a comment and tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

The blinds next to her bed are open. They haven’t been open since Kara- and for good reason. Her head's splitting in waves of throbbing agony. She closes her eyes and twists away pulling the blanket lazily over her head. Frowning she can hear light thuds of footsteps in her kitchen. She's too hung over deal with any intruders, instead, she relies on her senses to detect imminent danger. The footfalls don't get any louder. _Good_ , she thinks, _they're staying in the same location_. Sniffing the air she smells _coffee and bacon_? 

Alex tries to think back to what happened the night before. Flashes of Maggie all but carrying her up the stairs blur through her mind. It’s been so long since someone stayed the night with her; since she’s woken and not been alone. Her heart feels warm, heavy, and hollow at the same time. She buries her head into her pillow trying to preserve the sensation. _Maggie deserves better._

In all of their time together Maggie’s made bacon twice. After seven years of a vegan lifestyle it’s a rarity for her to cook meat but occasionally she’s made concessions for Alex. Typically after saving the world, or when Kara’d broke out the puppy eyes. Even after everything, for some reason, Alex can't wrap her head Maggie still looking out for her. Rolling over she hunches forward forcing a leg onto the floor. Testing it, she adds another and shakily makes her way toward the kitchen. 

As she rounds the corner she abruptly stops. The blond figure in her kitchen doesn’t seem to notice. Blond? Alex racks her brain fighting through the hangover fog to try and remember. She remembers struggling up the stairs with Maggie, she doesn't remember leaving again and she's not familiar with…

“Hey Alex. I'm not sure what happened while I was gone but we seriously need to talk about restocking the ice cream stockpile.”

The world collapses in on itself. Alex's knees go weak. She hasn’t heard that voice in eight months. The floor rushes up to greet her however before she can make contact warm arms wrap around her. Tracking the movement is too much for her brain to handle and she clenches her eyes shut. The arms are familiar-Kara always did run hotter than humans. 

“Hey Alex, you ok? Ohmygosh your knee!”

_This can't be real._ Alex's mind reels as her fingers reach out ghosting across Kara's forehead.

“K-Kara?”

She grabs either side of Kara's face. Blue eyes, wisps of blonde hair, the scar over her eyebrow. 

“Yeah Alex, it's me. I've got you. Here, let's move to the couch.”

Instead of moving toward the couch Alex throws her body against Kara. She crashes against her little sister and wraps her arms tightly around Kara's neck. Her knee screams in pain before giving out. It doesn't matter, Kara returns the hug and holds them both up.

“What happened to your knee?”

Kara’s voice is higher in pitch and frantic. It’s the voice that she uses when she wants to freak out but is holding it together for the people that are around her. She has recordings of Kara's voice but they don't come close to the real thing. Alex's heart soars at the sound. She buries her head into Kara’s shoulder and inhales. Kara smells like her bodywash and Alex recognizes her old shirt. It's one that they would playfully fight over, Kara always loved swiping her clothing. Kara shift so that they can make eye contact before glancing down at her knee again. 

“Explosion-it's not important. Kara? How?”

Kara doesn't respond right away, instead, she carries Alex over to the couch and when they sit. Alex never relinquishes her grip on Kara, holding her sister close. Once they’re seated Kara looks down opening and closing her mouth three times before deciding on what to say. 

“Alex it's important. It looks like it hurts and you're acting kind of weird. Does your head hurt at all?”

Kara keeps raising her left eyebrow. Alex leans back and yep, textbook crinkle formation. The DEO agent side of her brain keeps screaming that this can’t be real, but the ten years she's spent with Kara say that is, that she is. She's the right temperature, she smells like Kara, her speech patterns match up...

“How are you here?”

The blond hero looks confused and her crinkle grows. 

“This is my apartment Alex. I was just in Barry's world for like a week. Remember?”

Alex shakes her head. She’s not familiar with the name.

“Barry?”

Kara nods eagerly smiling down at her with bright eyes. Kind eyes. Kara’s hand is gently brushing tears off of Alex’s cheek while the other runs soothing circles on her back. 

“Yeah! At least this time I stopped by and let you know before I left.”

Alex’s face gives her confusion away. Barry?

“Hold still. What's the last thing you remember? Does your head hurt at all?”

It doesn't but Alex concedes that it is a good question to ask. Her mind runs through possibilities. Hallucination? Alien shapeshifter? Black Mercy? No matter what caused this, having Kara back is too good to be true and she doesn't want to risk losing her to logic. She finally understands how easy it would have been for Kara to slip away in the fantasy. If that’s where she is now, she’s staying. Looking up she realizes that the prolonged silence has freaked Kara out. Blue eyes are staring at her so concerned. 

“Alex, let's get you to the DEO. They can check you out.”

Smiling softly Alex reaches out and squeezes Kara’s hand maneuvering so that she’s less in Kara’s lap and more leaning against her. 

“No. No, I’m fine. Promise. Can just stay like this for a while?”

Kara's concern only grows but she pulls Alex in for a tight hug before wrapping the throw over both of them. 

“As long as you want.”

They put on reruns of Homeland. Alex fights to keep a stiff upper lip but it trembles. She never thought she’d be able to sit on this couch with her little sister again. There were so many shows that Kara's missed, so many that she thought they'd never watch together. Every trailer that she saw was rated on a “would Kara like this?” scale. Every person that she met, she searched to find a piece of her sister. Before she can stop it tears start pooling in her eyes and sliding down her cheeks. 

“Alex! It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Whatever it is, I'm here. We'll get through it together. We always do.”

Those words and their delivery are so genuine. Authentically Kara. Alex can't hold back a sob and her body shakes. Through her tears she can see Kara's mind spinning, she's running through different possibilities for what could be wrong. 

“Alex! What's wrong. What can I do to help?”

Alex breathes deeply and does her best to wipe away the tears. She's terrified that if she says the words _you died_ Kara will disappear.

“I'm fine.”

Kara shakes her head gently pulling Alex closer. She doesn't point out the fact that Alex was sobbing seconds ago but she starts rubbing small circles on Alex's back. 

“Something happened but it's okay if you don't want to talk about it yet. I'm not going anywhere." 

Kara's stomach grumbles after her statement and she winces as it kills the somber mood. "Do you want breakfast? I can go grab it super fast.” 

Alex's heart wrenches. Kara sends her a goofy grin as she offers food. The hero even hams up the delivery winking as she says super. As she moves to stand up and Alex's response is instinctual. 

“No!”

She doesn't want to lose contact with Kara. She doesn't want to go back to a reality where she's drunkenly romanticising hey final year as an older sister. She didn't mean to shout but fear had overridden every other emotion. 

“Just stay with me, okay Kara?”

Kara's eyes scrunch up and she stares down at Alex while the agent works to get her heart rate under control. 

“Okay, okay Alex. I won't leave. I'll be right here.”

Kara's hand finds Alex's and squeezes. She doesn't let go. Alex appreciates how tactile her younger sister is. It's grounding to have someone to hold onto. 

“Kara. You… You know I love you right?”

Kara blinks in confusion as she scans Alex’s face. Alex does her best to convey sincerity. She does, wholeheartedly and she needs Kara to know. She needs her little sister to know that she didn't...that she didn't mean to... that she loves her. 

“Of course! Alex, you're really scaring me. First the apartment, and your knee, and you've lost weight… are… Are you okay?”

Everything feels odd like reality is tilted on its side.

“God Kara I'm fine I'm always fine. It's everyone else that gets caught in the crossfire.”

Like a lightning bolt, Kara straightens grabbing and her free hand lands on Alex’s shoulder, every muscle in her body tense. 

“Oh Rao, is Maggie alright?”

It's such a Kara response. 

“She's fine. Everyone’s fine. Just… Just watch a few reruns of Homeland with me.”

Kara's poker face has always been terrible. It's an easy read to see that Kara doesn't believe her but she acquiesces. It's not a hard sell, Alex knows how much Kara loves to curl up and watch movies. 

“Only if you promise to eat. I can't wait for the new season!”

At the thought of losing contact, even if it's for a second, Alex bites her lip hard enough to draw blood. Kara notices immediately.

“Alex!”

Breakfast. She doesn't have an appetite but she can push around food on a plate. She meets blue eyes and nods. 

“Just don’t leave me. We can go to the kitchen together.”

Kara shakes her head. 

“Oh no, I’ve seen what that knee looks like. You’re not getting off of this couch.” 

In a blur, the contact is gone. Alex can’t feel Kara, can’t smell her. The warmth of her is fading. Alex blinks and she's back in that lab and Kara is cold. Her little sister is so cold, and still.

“NO!” 

Alex's sure that she'll never feel her sister again. She held on as tightly as she could but Kara slipped out of her grasp, twice now. Kara’s back before she finishes screaming with food balanced on two plates and placing them on the table. 

“Alex! Here, I was just grabbing toast. It's okay. It's just toast see? And I made your bacon smile! Because it's happy to see you." 

She’s not okay. She hasn't been in months. Eagerly Alex reaches out guiding Kara to put the plates down on the card table and resume their positions. 

“Kara don’t... don't run off like that.” 

Kara nods before biting her lip. She's been alternating between concern and trying to lighten the mood. Alex can see that worry is winning out. 

“Alex what happened while I was on Barry’s Earth?” 

Biting the bullet, Alex asks the million dollar question. 

“Who is Barry?”

Kara stares at her head and Alex knows that she's checking for any indication of brain damage. Kara nods slightly when she's done and shoots one last concerned look at Alex before explaining.

“Okay so, Barry. How do I explain Barry? Last time he did the explanation and he’s so good at it! Alright so, the multiverse isn't just a theory, like, I've been to three different versions of Earth. My friend Barry is able to travel between worlds”

Alex blinks. 

“You were in a different universe?” 

“Yeah, here.” 

The contact is gone again and Alex's heart leaps into her chest. Seconds later Kara reappears with what looks like a broken fire detector. Wires stick out of it in all directions and sections of what was once the casing are completely missing. 

“He gave me this device to travel between worlds.” 

Alex holds out her hand and Kara pass the device over. Every wire that she can see is frayed. Looking up at Kara she tries to wrap her mind and everything. Around the obvious.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

It's boggling her mind because Kara looks exactly the same.

“Who did I take to prom in 10th grade?”

Kara smirks.

“Trick question, you didn’t go to prom in 10th grade. Why?” 

She's right. 

“Kara have you ever encountered an organization named Camus?”

Kara blinks at her staring intently before responding. 

“You know I have. Alex, we fought them together”

Letting out a shaky breath Alex shifts away from Kara so that they can make eye contact.

“What… What's the last interaction that you remember having with them?”

Alex can't hold Kara's gaze as her sister responds. Instead, she looks down at the device in her lap and fiddles with the wires.

“Jeremiah left us for Cadmus. He stole the registry of aliens.”

Alex tries to remember that day. Everything that happened around Kara's death is rough around the edges. 

“Kara.”

Kara reaches out placing a heavy hand on her shoulder and Alex can't bring herself to move away from the steady comfort. 

“Did something happen to him while I was gone?” 

Alex's stomach is filled with twisting lead and her throat is a desert. She tries to respond and her voice cracks. 

“Alex, what's wrong?”

Alex changes the topic.

“Your portal device is damaged”

Kara nods. 

“Yeah, I kind of feel on it last night… This morning?”

Her chin knocks up with her voice as she squints trying to determine the correct terminology. It's adorably Kara.

“Kara.”

Alex calls her back to reality. Blue eyes widen then a shy apologetic grin shines down in her direction.

“Yeah?”

“Was it damaged at all before you came through?”

Kara's brow scrunches up and she nods hesitantly. 

“Sorta but it still worked.”

Alex shakes her head as she replies, “I-I'm not so sure that it did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of ideas for where this story is going to go. I want Kara to get the chance to interact with Maggie, Cat, and Lena. Still, this fic is going to focus heavily on Kara's relationship with Alex (especially in the earlier chapters) but expect appearances from all three. 
> 
> I love Cat Grant. I love the relationship she has with Kara Danvers/Supergirl and I'm excited to play with the profound ways in which this would have impacted her. 
> 
> Lena...Oh boy! That's a whole can of worms that will be fun to open. I want to play with the idea of having lost someone close to you and finding out about a secret life that they kept hidden. 
> 
> Maggie. I want Alex to be with Maggie. I want them both to be happy and it's a process. Alex lost herself when she lost Kara. She needs to redefine who she is before she can be with someone.


End file.
